1
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,038
Mother?

2
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:06,340
Mother,
where are you?

3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:10,110
ENDORA: I'm upstairs,
dear, with Tabatha.

4
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:13,146
Come on,
come on here.

5
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,815
Let's take Tabatha
for a long--

6
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:18,719
Wait till you see
the cute dress I got--
[WHINNIES]

7
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,221
Mother!

8
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,557
Cute dress you bought
where, darling?

9
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,691
Horsy go.

10
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,526
Mother, how could you?

11
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,796
You asked me
to entertain Tabatha.

12
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,231
Not with
a horse.

13
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,667
Why, every little girl
should have a pony.

14
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,003
You had one.

15
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,471
Not in the house.

16
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,206
Probably
you've forgotten.

17
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,142
Your pony had wings.

18
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,778
Pegasus?

19
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,080
But that's not the point.

20
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,082
Suppose Darrin
came home unexpectedly,

21
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,784
and saw a pony stomping about.

22
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:55,656
He isn't likely to come home
and see a pony stomping around.

23
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,125
He is the pony.

24
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,027
Oh, no!

25
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,729
[PONY NEIGHS]
Mother, you're joking.

26
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,766
[PONY NEIGHS]
You're joking, aren't you?

27
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,267
[PONY NEIGHS]

28
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,803
You're not joking?

29
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,871
[NEIGHS]

30
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,773
Oh!

31
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:20,814
[♪♪]

32
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:09,496
Mother, this is
the worst thing

33
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,298
you have ever done.
[NEIGHS]

34
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,467
And considering the past,
that's saying a lot.

35
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,268
I couldn't
help it.

36
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:17,738
He came home and had
the effrontery to tell me

37
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,873
I didn't know how
to look after Tabatha.

38
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,675
Turn him back.

39
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:25,212
I made a few
rather witty remarks
about his stupidity,

40
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,614
and then he accused me
of riding him.

41
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,416
Turn him back!

42
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:33,120
So I showed him
what it was like
to be really ridden.

43
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,454
Ow!

44
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:38,492
Oh! Him and his
childish tantrums.

45
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,127
[SIGHS]

46
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,728
Now, sweetheart,
come here.

47
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:46,099
Now, listen. Don't do anything
that'll make Mother mad.

48
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:49,236
She might do something
even worse.

49
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,804
Now, sweetheart...

50
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,874
the thing to remember
is that I love you.

51
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,543
Oh, how revolting.

52
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,882
Oh.

53
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,183
Oh, now, Darrin.

54
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,885
Darrin, d-d-don't
say anything, please.

55
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,120
I mean, just don't
say anything--
I have no intention

56
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,388
of speaking to your mother.

57
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,123
I have only
one thing to say,

58
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,458
and that is to you.

59
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,060
Well, fine, you can say
anything you want to me.

60
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,327
Yell at me,
scream at me--

61
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,163
Either your mother
gets out of this house

62
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:19,566
and stays out, or I do.
Oh, now, Darrin.

63
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,769
Until she goes,
I don't come back!

64
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,177
Well, we're
rid of him.

65
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,579
You heard what he said.
Out!

66
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,915
Well, at the moment I can think
of a number of places

67
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,384
I'd rather be.
Good.

68
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,887
But I have a sweet
and forgiving nature.

69
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,990
I might even do something
nice for Darwin,

70
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,826
such as
a peace offering.

71
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:50,197
Oh, that would be
a very good idea.

72
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,199
Now, what should it be?

73
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:53,500
Something nice.

74
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,769
Something very,
very nice.

75
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:58,238
If there's one thing
I do pride myself on,

76
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,006
it's my imagination.

77
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,811
And in conclusion, may I say
that we will handle your account

78
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,613
with all the thoroughness
and attention

79
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,882
that we have
in the past. It--

80
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,796
With all
the thoroughness--

81
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,813
With all the thoroughness
and attention

82
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,349
that we have in the past.
It has been our ex--

83
00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:57,297
Aah! Ow!

84
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,225
Mr. Stephens.
Uh, yes?

85
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:28,328
That perfume company in Paris,
the one you did the ads for?

86
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,531
They sent you a sample
of their new perfume,
Hallucination.

87
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,833
Tell me what
you think of it.

88
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,365
I tried that
new perfume.

89
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,367
Hm.

90
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,902
What do
you think?

91
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,374
I think...

92
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,477
"Hallucination" is a very
good name for it.

93
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,901
Mr. Stephens?
Are you all right?

94
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,804
Oh, that, uh, perfume's
got quite a kick.

95
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:48,775
Makes you feel like
jumping up and down.

96
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:51,144
I think I'd better get it
out of the building.

97
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:57,784
Mr. Gregson, I'd like
you to meet

98
00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,053
one of our bright young men,
Darrin Stephens.

99
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,822
Darrin, I don't have to tell you
who Mr. Gregson is.

100
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,591
No, indeed.
How do you do, Mr. Gregson?

101
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:05,925
How do you do,
young man?

102
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,560
What happened
to your desk?

103
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,863
Uh, they're not making wood
the way they used to.

104
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,232
Something must have
gone against the grain.

105
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,500
Won't you sit down,
Mr. Gregson.

106
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,036
Pull up a chair, Larry.
Thank you.

107
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,872
I was discussing with Mr. Tate
how'd we handle your account

108
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,507
if you decide
to come with us.

109
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,242
I've definitely
severed relations

110
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,543
with my present agency.

111
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,845
They don't understand
my image.

112
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,814
If I may say so,
Mr. Gregson,

113
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,583
your image
is the American home.

114
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,720
And if I may say so,
Gregson Home Appliances

115
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,556
should be synonymous
with that perfect American home.

116
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,858
I never had one as a child.
I was an orphan.

117
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:43,096
So you see, the perfect home
is sort of a dream of mine.

118
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,231
An ideal. Uh...

119
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,235
Your wife?

120
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,904
Oh, no.

121
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,405
Mother?

122
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,540
No, uh...

123
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,209
My mother-in-law.
Oh.

124
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,245
Moth--?

125
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,613
That's fantastic.

126
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,282
Absolutely
fantastic.

127
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,351
In all my life, I don't
believe I've ever seen

128
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,654
a man with a picture of
his mother-in-law on his desk.

129
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:11,191
Lately, I've been taking it
with me everyplace I go.

130
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,093
She must be a treasure.

131
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,829
You must adore her.

132
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,330
Well, uh, let's put it
this way.

133
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:21,167
She's the sort of woman
who's, uh, hard to resist.

134
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,539
I'd like to meet her.

135
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,641
Uh, as a matter of fact,
my wife and I

136
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,443
are having dinner
with the Stephenses tonight.

137
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:31,544
You are?

138
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,012
Perhaps you could join us.

139
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,180
Oh, no, no, no.

140
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,516
As much as I'd like
to meet his mother-in-law,

141
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,752
I wouldn't think
of intruding.

142
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,653
I'm running late.

143
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,756
It's been nice
meeting you, Stephens.

144
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,858
Mr. Gregson.
I'll be talking
to you later, Larry.

145
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,960
Give us a ring any time.
I'll do that.

146
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,895
Bye, Mr. Gregson
Bye, Larry.

147
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,700
How could you
look so dumb

148
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,001
when I said we were
coming to dinner?

149
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,536
Well, I didn't know
you were.

150
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,004
We weren't.

151
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,206
But when Mr. Ten-Million-
Dollars'-Worth-of-Advertising

152
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:03,042
says he'd like to meet your
mother-in-law, we are.

153
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,178
Now, when I talk to him later,
I'm going to tell him

154
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:08,014
that Samantha absolutely
insists on his coming,

155
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,383
and that your mother-in-law
is dying to meet him.

156
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,985
Uh, she isn't.

157
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,221
She may have
other plans, uh...

158
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,956
What's the matter,
Larry?

159
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,093
Just thinking...

160
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:23,029
...how bare this office
would look without your desk.

161
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:27,000
How forlorn this hat rack
would look without your hat.

162
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,070
Darrin...
please reconsider.

163
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,505
Don't leave the company.
We need you.

164
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,007
We love you.

165
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,376
At least while
you're with us.

166
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,546
Larry, I refuse
to be intimidated.

167
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,915
Oh? By a simple little
dinner party

168
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,284
with your best friend
and his wife

169
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,652
and a business associate?

170
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:47,954
Well, as long as you're
putting it that way--

171
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:52,325
We'd love to have you and Louise
and Mr. Gregson for dinner.

172
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,261
But that won't guarantee
that my mother-in-law
will be there.

173
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,765
Darrin, I know you'll do
the very best you can.

174
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,002
You son of a gun.

175
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,043
You son of a gun.

176
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,178
In spite of
what you heard,

177
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,547
you are not invited
to dinner tonight.

178
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,815
Thank you.

179
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:18,284
I'd love to come.

180
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,954
Y--!

181
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,823
[GROANS]

182
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,562
They should be here
any minute.

183
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,498
Sweetheart, will you
stop worrying?

184
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,366
I am sure,
under the circumstances,

185
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,702
Mother will not
show up.

186
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,804
Mother!
You called?

187
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,873
I thought
I heard my name.

188
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,775
Thanks for popping in,
Endora, now do me a favor,
pop out!

189
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,277
Well, I thought I was
doing you a favor

190
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:47,580
by being here to meet
the charming Mr. Gregson.

191
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,148
Samantha--!

192
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,751
Will you kindly
ask your mother what
makes her think

193
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,887
our marriage certificate
is her deed to my house?

194
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,222
Now, wait a minute,
sweetheart.
I--

195
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,590
Both of you.

196
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,225
Perhaps under
the circumstances,

197
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,294
it might be a good idea
if Mother stayed.

198
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,830
Huh?
If you promise
to behave yourself.

199
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:07,667
But of course.
And if you apologize
to Darrin

200
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,103
for what happened
this morning.

201
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:14,240
I regret my slight
transgression of this morning,

202
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,242
however deserved.

203
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,611
That's an apology?

204
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,947
Mm.
For Mother, it is.

205
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:24,083
Okay. But no
funny business.

206
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,718
Witch's honor.

207
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:28,755
[DOORBELL RINGS]
There they are.
I'll get it.

208
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,624
Mother, try and keep
the conversation

209
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,626
on a domestic level.

210
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:34,961
[SIGHS QUIETLY]

211
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,429
Louise!
Hi, Darrin.

212
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,964
[OVERLAPPING GREETINGS]

213
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,699
LARRY:
Hello, Sam.
How are you?

214
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,267
Endora, how nice
to see you again!

215
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,836
Mr. Tate.
Honey, this is Mr. Gregson.

216
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,805
Oh, Mr. Gregson,
I can't tell you

217
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,106
what a pleasure
it is to meet you.

218
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:49,175
Up until now,
all I've met is your name.

219
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,944
Oh, it's on
our vacuum cleaner,

220
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,713
and our dishwasher--
almost everything we own.

221
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,782
That's very flattering.

222
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,184
I've been looking forward
to meeting you.

223
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,385
And your mother.

224
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,854
DARRIN: Endora, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Gregson.

225
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,524
How do you do?
How do you do,
Mr. Gregson?

226
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:07,827
And may I say you look
even more lovely in person

227
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,729
than in your
photograph.

228
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,198
Oh, not only
may you say so,

229
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:15,401
but you can repeat it
as often as you wish.

230
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,383
More coffee,
Mr. Gregson?

231
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,851
No, thank you,
my dear.

232
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:34,287
I was just telling Darrin
how much I admire

233
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,656
his frank display
of affection.

234
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,558
Your picture
on his desk.

235
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,859
[LAUGHS]

236
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,427
I would never have
been so egotistical

237
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,896
as to have
given it to him.

238
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:46,466
He must have
stolen it.

239
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:52,772
Do you have your
mother-in-law's picture
on your desk, Mr. Tate?

240
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,408
Oh, I can
answer that-- No.

241
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,745
Uh, I happen to be
the kind of man

242
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,313
that likes a clean desk.

243
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,850
Perfectly clean.
Clear head, clean desk.

244
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:07,387
[LAUGHS]
Darrin can be so gallant.

245
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,689
He was so complimentary
to Mother tonight

246
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,991
about her
dinner dress.

247
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,227
Endora has
exquisite taste.

248
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,896
I'm sure your husband
is just as complimentary

249
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,865
to your mother, Mrs. Tate?

250
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,967
Oh, yes.
Yes, indeed.

251
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,336
Darrin and I are
exactly alike in that.

252
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,104
As a matter of fact,
I wouldn't be surprised

253
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,439
if he picked it up from me.

254
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,808
He sees my mother-in-law
at our house so often.

255
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,410
We're a very close family.

256
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:33,746
You can drop in
at our house anytime,

257
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,214
and there she is.

258
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,450
She practically
lives with us.

259
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,087
Oh, I-I wouldn't say that.

260
00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:42,822
And I wouldn't have it
any other way.

261
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,424
Because when it comes
to mothers-in-law,

262
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:48,661
I can safely say that mine
is really...

263
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,263
...something else.

264
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,732
[KICKS LARRY]
Ow!

265
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,233
Oh, excuse me, dear.

266
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,436
I was just
crossing my legs.

267
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,937
Um, excuse us.

268
00:13:57,937 --> 00:13:59,639
The light's better
in the living room.

269
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:02,275
I want to make sure
I haven't broken the skin.

270
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,944
It's a wonder
you didn't break my leg.

271
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,581
Will you stop with those
thinly-veiled insults

272
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,849
about my mother.
Shh!

273
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,117
I've got a million-dollar
client in there,

274
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,618
and you're carrying on
about your mother.

275
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:15,388
I don't care! I will not listen
to you insult my mother.

276
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,323
Even subtly!

277
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,292
Louise!

278
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,062
[DOOR OPENS]

279
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,164
No, I'm not
leaving.

280
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,134
I wouldn't give you
the satisfaction.

281
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,371
Excuse me.

282
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:38,444
Nothing to be alarmed about.
Just an attack of nerves.

283
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:41,247
Louise had a little tiff
with her hairdresser
this afternoon, and--

284
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:46,018
Tate, there's no point
in beating around the bush.

285
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,688
I don't think you
understand my image.

286
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,124
I certainly do,
Mr. Gregson.

287
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,759
The perfect
American home.

288
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:56,562
You can't have a perfect home
without a harmonious family.

289
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,832
Perfection, Mr. Gregson,
is something that grows,

290
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,267
like a flower garden.

291
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:04,237
Yours seems to be
full of weeds.

292
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,906
Not every son-in-law

293
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,376
is as cuddly
as Darr-Darr and I are.

294
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:13,813
Right. And that's what's
given me an idea.

295
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:17,016
Darrin, suppose
I were to set you up

296
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,885
in an advertising agency
of your own.

297
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,355
What?!
Turn my account over to you.

298
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:25,558
I appreciate it, Mr. Gregson,
but it's out of the question.

299
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,394
Larry here is the genius.
I couldn't handle it.

300
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,263
I'm just
a routine workhorse.

301
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:34,367
Oh, I wouldn't say routine.
He's a fine workhorse.

302
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,936
On the other hand,
Mr. Gregson,

303
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:41,040
my son-in-law does
understand your image.

304
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,076
Right! He not only
understands my image,

305
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:48,181
he lives it.
Darrin, think it over.

306
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,849
I already have thought it over.

307
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,018
Larry is the brains.

308
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,953
He's the greatest
advertising man.

309
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,588
Right.

310
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,990
He is so modest.

311
00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:00,993
Yes, and I admire that
in a man too.

312
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:03,095
Darrin, y--
Oh, my!

313
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:05,064
What's the matter,
Mr. Gregson?

314
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,233
Oh, migraine.
Oh, I'm so sorry.

315
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:10,236
Well, unpleasant scenes
like this always bring it on.

316
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,471
Trouble is,
my medicine's at home.

317
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:16,042
I'm terribly sorry,
but I'm afraid
I'll have to leave.

318
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,511
Good night,
dear lady.

319
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,812
Until we meet again.

320
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,447
Yes. Yes.

321
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,118
LARRY: Mr. Gregson.

322
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,620
DARRIN: Mr. Gregson.

323
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,555
Good night,
gentlemen.

324
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:36,395
Well, my boy.
Congratulations.

325
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,797
What are you
talking about?

326
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,632
Very clever.
In no time at all,

327
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,668
you took a $10 million account
away from McMann and Tate

328
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,437
and opened
your own agency.

329
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,739
Don't be silly.
He was the one
who suggested it.

330
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,542
I didn't say--
You played up
to his weakness.

331
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,478
Larry, may I remind you that
you're the one who insisted

332
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:53,980
on bringing him
here tonight.

333
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,148
Ah, that's where
you showed real cunning.

334
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,184
Without me
even suspecting it,

335
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,020
you made me think
the whole thing was my idea.

336
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,389
Everything's
just fine now.

337
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,692
It is?
Yes, Louise is feeling
much better.

338
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,995
We're leaving.

339
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,463
Oh, and Louise,

340
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,332
in this house, walk with
your back to the wall,

341
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,700
if you don't want
a knife in it.

342
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,036
Larry!
I'll explain what
happened later.

343
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,272
Come on.
Come on.

344
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:23,009
What happened?
Well--

345
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:24,710
Oh, yes.
One more thing.

346
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,346
Be sure and let us know
where to forward your mail.

347
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,050
[LAUGHS]

348
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:33,352
What's so
funny?

349
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,454
That's what I love
about mortals.

350
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:38,190
They can get themselves
into such hilarious messes

351
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:42,762
without my even
lifting a finger
to cast a spell.

352
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:43,863
Endora!

353
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,365
Just call me Mother.

354
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,771
Sweetheart?

355
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:52,905
Good morning,
darling.

356
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,374
Good morning
and good news.

357
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,043
Mother dropped in
to say goodbye.

358
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,311
She's on her way
to Paris.

359
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,146
She wanted to select
some new designs

360
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,448
that her couturier
hasn't thought of yet.

361
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,251
That's marvelous,
sweetheart.

362
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,786
Thank you,
honey.

363
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,322
[WIND BLOWING]

364
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,225
There she goes.

365
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:15,494
And there goes
a whole night's work.

366
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,631
I've been lining up
a campaign for Mr. Gregson.

367
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,467
He'll love it--
It's in tune with
everything he stands for.

368
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,270
Image, image, image.
What time is it,
darling?

369
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,539
Nearly 9:00.
I have to get down
to the office.

370
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,407
I want to go over
this stuff with Larry.

371
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,576
Oh, thank goodness.

372
00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,912
For a minute I thought maybe
you'd taken last night

373
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,080
a little too seriously.

374
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,849
Of course not.
Larry was just mad.

375
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:37,984
And I don't blame him.

376
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,186
Gregson did give him
a bad time.

377
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:44,357
You know what
I'm gonna do?
What?

378
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,492
I'm gonna give him credit
for this whole campaign.

379
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:48,661
Why, he didn't have anything
to do with it.

380
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,796
But that's how we are
with one another.

381
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,665
[DOORBELL RINGS]

382
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,635
The doorbell.
Probably Larry,
come to apologize.

383
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,572
[WHISTLING MELODY]

384
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:04,710
Mr. Stephens,
Mr. Tate said to deliver
your office furniture here.

385
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,079
Uh...

386
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,581
Put it
in the garage.

387
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:13,786
So that's
how it is.

388
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,188
While I'm slaving in there
to save his account,

389
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:18,257
he's throwing my furniture
out of my office.

390
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:19,859
Sweetheart, maybe
if you talked to--

391
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,561
I have no intention of ever
speaking to him again.

392
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:25,631
I'm going to take those
advertising ideas
down to see Mr. Gregson.

393
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,433
I'm going to open
my own office.

394
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,335
Oh, now, Darrin, don't do
anything you'll regret.

395
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,103
I've always been
the brains of that outfit.

396
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,838
It's just time
I proved it.

397
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,274
Sweetheart.
You-- Oh.

398
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:47,153
Fiddle-de-dee
And fiddle-de-dum

399
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:49,455
Let witchcraft work
And let it hum

400
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:51,691
Give all the credit
To Larry Tate

401
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,593
As Darrin wanted
Before his hate

402
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,702
GREGSON: Magnificent.

403
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,637
Unbelievable.

404
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,573
Absolutely brilliant.

405
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,308
You know,
without a doubt,

406
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,911
this is the greatest
advertising presentation

407
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,245
I have ever seen.

408
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:14,447
I brought it
to you, sir,

409
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,048
because I'd knew
you'd see its value.

410
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,818
It has--
It has my image.

411
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,419
You know, last night

412
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,089
you said that Larry Tate
was the brains of your company.

413
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,390
Oh, well...

414
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,425
One is expected to say
such things

415
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:27,626
at a time like that.

416
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:30,429
I regard humility
as a virtue.

417
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:34,100
Well, the man who
can do work like this

418
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,634
is the man for me.

419
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:39,071
And the man who did that
is at your disposal.

420
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,674
Good. Let's go see him.

421
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,642
Hm?

422
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:46,545
I was prepared
to set you up in business,

423
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,848
but you quite simply
and honestly

424
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,784
gave me evidence that I should
stick with McMann and Tate.

425
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,285
Me?

426
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,920
You have the image
all right,

427
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,523
but Tate has the brains
and the know-how.

428
00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:00,259
And when you get right down
to the nitty-gritty--

429
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,061
never mind the image--

430
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,996
I'll take the brains
every time.

431
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:07,466
Do you know any other person
who could do work like that?

432
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:09,635
Excuse me, sir.

433
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,139
"Larry Tate."
Hm.

434
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:17,076
"Larry Tate."

435
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:18,677
No, I know of
only one person

436
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,913
who can do work
like that.

437
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:24,350
Darrin could have
taken advantage of me.

438
00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:25,818
He could have
let me believe

439
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,120
that he was the brains
of this company.

440
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,722
But, no.
He simply showed me

441
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:32,458
the magnificent ideas
you'd come up with.

442
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:36,295
Well, I-I have so many
brilliant ideas

443
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,265
that sometimes
I forget some of them.

444
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:40,799
GREGSON: You have
a fine young man

445
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,135
following in
your footsteps.

446
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,704
His noble footsteps.

447
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,974
Well, we can discuss
these ideas later.

448
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,577
Drop in my office
this afternoon.
I certainly will.

449
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:53,245
Mr. Gregson.
Darrin.

450
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,447
Goodbye, Larry.
Bye-bye.

451
00:22:07,726 --> 00:22:09,728
You put my name
to your work?

452
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:13,098
After I fired you,
and then threw
your furniture out?

453
00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:15,601
Just remember that
the next time
you want to fire me.

454
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,403
There won't be
a next time.

455
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:21,273
Darrin, I want to do
something wonderful
for you.

456
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:23,275
You name it.
It isn't necessary.

457
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:25,144
No, no, no, no.
Name it.

458
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:27,379
I'll let you
name it.

459
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,748
How does
this sound?

460
00:22:31,217 --> 00:22:35,087
McMann, Tate and Stephens.

461
00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:37,456
It sounds
sensational.

462
00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:40,259
Well, one of these days,
a few years from now,

463
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:42,561
if you follow in my footsteps,

464
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,463
that's the way
it's going to read.

465
00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:47,299
Couldn't happen
to a better man.

466
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:49,468
That's what I admire
about you, Larry.

467
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:52,204
That's why you're
the brains of this outfit.

468
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,839
You dream big.

469
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:04,783
[PONY NEIGHS]

470
00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:06,719
[GIGGLES]

471
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:10,756
Oh, no!

472
00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:13,158
Oh, Mother,
you've done it again.

473
00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,728
Come on,
sweetheart.

474
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,463
Get off Daddy's back.

475
00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:19,665
[WHINNIES]
Darrin, darling.

476
00:23:23,502 --> 00:23:25,704
Sweetheart...

477
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,874
Did something happen
while I was out?

478
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:31,243
Did you get into
another argument?

479
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:34,613
Oh, sweetheart,
I'm sorry.

480
00:23:35,347 --> 00:23:38,117
DARRIN: Sam.
Yes.

481
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:41,120
Oh! Darrin.

482
00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:45,524
That pony
is shedding.

483
00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:47,226
I thought
it was you.

484
00:23:47,226 --> 00:23:48,460
Yesterday, it was.

485
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,297
Oh, and Tabatha
loved it so much

486
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:53,032
that you bought
her one.

487
00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:54,433
No, I didn't.

488
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:55,901
Oh?

489
00:24:00,306 --> 00:24:02,341
All right,
Tabatha.

490
00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:03,976
Where did it
come from?

491
00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:13,652
[ENDORA CHUCKLES]

492
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:16,455
Excuse me.
Come on, Tabatha.

493
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,724
That's a girl. Ah!

494
00:24:18,724 --> 00:24:20,592
The pony is on me.

495
00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:22,528
That I'd like to see.
Darrin.

496
00:24:22,528 --> 00:24:25,364
Honey, we cannot
accept a gift

497
00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:27,700
that is conjured up
by witchcraft.

498
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,868
Oh, really, Derrick!

499
00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:33,105
Why, sometimes, you know,
you're positively quaint.

500
00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:36,375
Endora, I refuse to discuss it.
The ingratitude of mortals.

501
00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:38,210
We have a rule
in this house--

502
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:39,511
It never ceases
to amaze me.

503
00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,380
I'm getting tired
of all this arguing.

504
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:42,881
You're constantly
coming in here,

505
00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,883
and, boom, explosions, animals
running around all the time.

506
00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:46,118
Darrin!

507
00:24:46,118 --> 00:24:48,387
[BOTH ARGUING LOUDLY]

508
00:24:48,387 --> 00:24:51,724
Oh, please!
Please!

509
00:24:57,196 --> 00:25:00,933
[♪♪]